I have officially written off February. It sucked. Big time. As I write this there’s an hour and fifteen minutes left to the month and I’m surprised a panel from the International Space Station hasn’t broken off and didn’t get sucked into the Earth’s gravity pull, sending it hurling to Earth to plow a hole through my roof and land o -safdsgfh
No, that didn’t happen. I wouldn’t have had time to click publish.
So, eff you, February. Eff your snow and frozen fingers and traffic tickets. I won’t neglect the high points, though. Here are five:
1) George Wallace on Twitter
I keep a select Twitter list which I follow daily. Many are comedians, who I find more interesting than non-comic celebrities. Some are funnier than others, some quite vocal, and still others retweet all their detractors. Eventually I’ll remove those people, but George Wallace will hang for a while.
How the hell did Philadelphia corner the market on cream cheese? Do no other cities know how to make it? How ’bout some Tulsa cream cheese?
— George Wallace (@MrGeorgeWallace) February 27, 2015
Shout out to French Polynesia. One of the top 5 Polynesias of all time. #respect
— George Wallace (@MrGeorgeWallace) February 20, 2015
Still have nightmares that Kanye’s gonna bust through my front door and take my damn 1995 American Comedy Award from me. — George Wallace (@MrGeorgeWallace) February 9, 2015
2) Hardcore Alcoholic Brunch Drinks
My friend in Connecticut was telling me about this place near him that makes drinks designed to piss off PeTA:
I’m seeing bacon, maybe a rib and a either a human arm or a crableg…Lord only know what’s in this thing. The place is called Olio and I can’t believe he didn’t take me there when I was in his area last. Something to look forward to, I guess.
3) Rediscovering Dorothy Parker
I cut my teeth on Dorothy Parker’s writing. In college I wanted to write a paper on Parker for one class, but had to abandon the idea because of the lack of criticism and other resources. Reading Ellen Meister’s Farewell, Dorothy Parker helped me realize how much I enjoyed Parker’s work, and it’s given me an idea I’ll share soon. Hopefully one day another English major interested in Parker will have the necessary criticism needed to write that thesis.
4) Sir Mix A Lot and the Bechdel Test
You know the Bechdel Test, right? Originally applicable to movies, the Bechdel Test is designed to identify fiction that features A) two women who B) talk to each other about C) something besides a man. Alison Bechdel introduced the test in her comic strip Dykes to Watch Out For, where one character claimed the last movie she could see was Aliens. For me, I’d say Mockingjay.
Well, recently I saw on Twitter where somebody poses, of all things, Sir Mix A Lot’s “Baby Got Back” could pass this test:
Then came the detractors. We know one person is Becky. We know they’re not talking about a man, BUTT…if you take away the video context and go with the song you find that A) it isn’t 100% confirmed the speaker is female, and B) Becky doesn’t talk back, so it’s not really a conversation. I think what made me smile about this is the serious conversation I found on the Internet about it. A debate for the ages – take that, weird-colored dress.
5) Zeppelin on Xylos
No words. Just awesome.
Let March bring more happy. Lord knows we need it.