The Blog

I’m Not Dead

Some days it feels that way, though.

If you follow the book world at large in social, you’ll find it’s an interesting place, one that inspires people to post reaction .gifs of actors walking into rooms with WTF expressions. In the past few years, authors have sued other authors for use of specific words, authors have stalked bloggers and readers into hiding, and writing organizations have doubled down on policies that make them look so, so bad. Those who act like total jackasses manage to thrive. It’s baffling and discouraging, and I know if I acted like a complete “see you next Tuesday” I’d be singled out for the shunning.

Meanwhile I work a day job, and find I have fewer hours of the day left to write. I have just enough energy to read before bed, so I do that.

People call this a fallow period. You’re not productive in the way you’d like, but you’ve not quite thrown in the towel. Little activities – a journal, reading – keep the pump primed. I suppose I’m fallowing, every day since ARe folded and left me to find work elsewhere. Today I got notice this domain is to renew. I have it to promote my work, but with nothing new on the horizon is it worth keeping?

I still have these books, and others. You can buy them at Amazon.

I have about a week to decide, and if I ignore it I’ll auto-pay seventeen bucks to keep the lights on here. If the domain lapses it will be hell to get it back. Somebody else could buy it and squat on it, and auction it for more than it’s worth. I knew authors who accidentally let their names lapse to see them bought and used to house p*rn sites.

The truth is, I want to write. I do not feel I’m finished telling stories. The motivation to¬†create on my own eludes me, though. Demands at work have increased, and though my job isn’t physical labor it drains me. There’s simply no room unless I make room, and I’m too tired to make it happen.

Something will change soon. I hold onto that hope as it gets me up in the morning. Well, that and the paycheck.

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