Today, the blog is happy to host a “character interview” with Pickle Culpepper from Murder and Mayhem in Goose Pimple Junction by Amy Metz. Scroll down for links to purchase!

Q: Hello, Pickle, thanks for sitting down with us today. Can you tell us how you got your name? Pickle isn’t your given name, is it?

Pickle: No ma’am. My real name is Dylan. But my daddy doesn’t like that name. Never has. Soon as I was born and my mama insisted on namin’ me that, Daddy started callin’ me Pickle. Said “Dylan” reminded him of dill pickles. Now just about everybody calls me Pickle. Even Mama.

Q: Tell us about yourself, Pickle.

Pickle: Well…I’m sixteen years old. I go to Robert E. Lee High School. Um…I work at Stafford’s—it’s a bookstore. Uh…I have a little brother named Peanut. And my favorite food is Slick’s macaroni and cheese and my mama’s peach pie.

Q: What’s your favorite thing about Goose Pimple Junction?

Pickle: (Blushing and squirming in his seat.) Charlotte Price.

Q: Ah! A girl. Tell us about her.

Pickle: Oh, Charlotte’s as pretty as a spotted heffer in a pansy patch. She goes to school with me, and she works at the First National Bank, and she has long blond hair, and she’s as nice as can be. Smart and pretty too.

Q: She sure sounds like it. What do you all do for fun?

Pickle: The usual things. We hang out at Slick & Junebug’s diner. We go to the shows. We go to dances at school and youth group at the church every Wednesday night. You know…stuff.

Q: Pickle, have you ever won any awards?

Pickle: Sure. Just last year I was voted Person With The Funniest T-shirt. I didn’t even know it was a category, but I guess it is, ‘cause I won it.

Q: Do you always wear funny t-shirts?

Pickle: Yes ma’am. Except to church. Well, I wear ‘em to youth group, but I don’t wear ‘em to Sunday school or to the service.

Q: Do you have a favorite shirt?

Pickle: Uh huh. I like the one that says, “Lock up your daughters.” ‘Course, Charlotte gets kind of mad when I wear that one. And her daddy gives me the stink-eye .

Q: What is your least favorite characteristic your writer has attributed to you?

Pickle: I think she thinks I’m kind of a slow leak. I mean, some people think I’m as dumb as a bag of hair. But I’m not. I mean, I got Jack and me outta that speck of trouble we were in, didn’t I?

Okay, Pickle, it’s Lightning Round time.

Q: Plain or peanut?

Pickle: Definitely plain. I’m not the nutty type.

Q: Morning or night person?

Pickle: Night. Duh, I’m a teenager.

Q: Chocolate or vanilla?

Pickle: Chocolate. Vanilla’s dull as dishwater.

Q: Kindle or hardcopy?

Pickle: Hardcopy. Duh again—I work in a bookstore.

Q: Country or rock ‘n roll?

Pickle: I’m a little bit country, a little bit rock ‘n roll.

(Interviewer groans)

Pickle (grinning): Sorry. I had to.

Thanks for talking to us today, Pickle.

Thank yew, ma’am. I had more fun than a tornado at a trailer park.



Twitter: (@goosepimpleisms)

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